Our War
by Max Rasgar
Summary: What would've happened between H.G. and Myka if the Warehouse hadn't blown up at the end of S3?
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: The characters that appear in this story belong to SyFy.

A/N: If the summary has lulled you in this far then that's all the 'spoilers' you need to know. You'll just have to read the story if you feel inclined to do so since that's what you're supposedly here for. One final note, this is written in H.G's POV.

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 **-{-}-{-}-Our War-{-}-{-}-**

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Myka asked me to accompany her to her room and I agreed. Why wouldn't I? I've known for a while now that this moment would have to happen, but I only chose to acknowledge its immediacy recently. The first item I knew for certain when all of us walked out of the Warehouse-after we disposed of Walter Sykes-was that my accounts with Myka Bering would need to finally be settled. The sound of her locking the bedroom door next seemed finite and I turned to address the one person who I've hurt more than any other. She is also the person I've grown to admire and love; those accolades would appear to be mutual considering the expression on her face.

"Why would you want to die, Helena?" Myka says while walking away from the locked door to her bedroom at the B & B. This isn't how I supposed this conversation would begin. "I mean was it because you weren't in your body and you knew it wouldn't hurt? Noble sacrifice or not it wasn't okay for your consciousness or whatever to stand there in that clearing by the road and tell me it was!"

Myka's impassioned words are choked off in a dry sob. I can see quite plainly that she is trying with all her might not to cry as hard as her body is demanding. The history between us has brought us here and I know exactly why she is hurt. I can't decide if our recent entanglements are the best place for me to start or if I should address our not so distant past again since I have an actual body this time. I have so much to answer for; atone for.

"I was simply trying to be selfless for once in my life and it was for a dear and worthy cause." I reply with determination, for if I do not hold onto my wits I will be an even bigger emotional mess than I already am. I want to tell her that she's worth sacrificing everything for. "Please don't be angry with me; none of the awful things that could've come to pass did."

I could say so much more since I too could've easily been forced to watch her die sitting in the chess lock chair. Without much effort I can easily see her under that crude and bloodied blade again that would've pierced her skull with one more wrong move. To add further insult, I could also say I will never forget the look of deep anguish upon her face that day in the forest for as long as I remain on this earth. I won't though because Myka sees this as my time to get it all sorted.

"Sure, you can say that now but it's been one crazy thing after another. Steve is dead and I can't lose you too, not now, not after everything." Myka says as she pulls off her black leather jacket that is marked on the upper sleeve by a bullet I fired at her; she tosses it on her neatly made bed. "Actually, I thought I would lose you twice in less than sixty-three hours and we haven't even..."

Her voice trails off again, only this time her dulcet tones are colored by anger and resentment. I dare to move closer to Myka who has stopped pacing about her bedroom to stand at the foot of her bed. Her gaze is not quite on fixed upon me as it was, rather the floor is her preferred audience at the moment and her lower lip is being held captive.

"Do you think death is all you deserve?" Myka says lowly while she crosses her arms over her chest. "I told you when we were trying to figure out that damn chess lock, to reopen the portal that I wish you'd stop with all this. It's not fair to keep doing this to me." Her eyes widen marginally from blurting out a clear and uncensored thought but it only fazes her for a second. "Then the second time around all I can keep thinking about is: What if we hadn't figured out that the damn bomb was tied to Sykes? What would you have done?"

This conversation is a veritable collision in a minefield. That being said though, I have no wish to safely step around the presumed danger but that doesn't mean I'm not afraid.

"Made sure you were safe." I say while nearly choking on the effort it takes to hold my tears in. "At any cost even if said cost was my life."

Her lip quivers between her teeth and then her arms drop form their closed off position to hang by her sides. Being honest is widely praised but it causes the some of the most deep, wounding hurts.

"God...H.G." Myka says in such a lost and vacant tone. "I wouldn't survive that. How could I?"

All she's ever done is see the good in me; something that I thought was gone from me. I have openly flirted with her for many reasons; most of them for less than honorable intentions, but it was never a bother for me to do so. I have always been attracted to her. But through our stretch of time it became so much more than an attraction for me, and I've held a small hope for some time now it was the same for her. I thought I had ruined my chances though due to my actions at Yellowstone. It would appear that I'm wrong.

"What are you trying to tell me, Myka?"

I haven't felt like any real protests were needed from me yet, certainly not the most obvious ones that sprung to mind. I need her to give a voice to what has always been between us. What has always been between us even when she forced that gun into my hand at one of the worst moments of my life? Myka's stance softens more and she clasps her hands over her face. It's as if she's trying to push back her tears for a minute but then her usual determination forces her to look at me once more. I've thought that this long standing duel of ours would have 'causalities' as it were, given the day we've had and I'm ready as I'll ever be.

"As soon as I heard the words 'artifact' and 'bomb' when we were standing by that wheelchair I felt a fear that I hadn't had before." Myka says without hesitation. And I swear I can already hear the words I had only imagined her saying to me; this is finally our moment. "And it wasn't about losing my life, it was about the one person I...I didn't tell you," A tear runs out of her eye and she hurriedly brushes it away. "I never told you...oh, God. I love you Helena and I'm in love with you."

It's not utterly astonishing to hear those words. I've had some hints about how she felt about me when Mrs. Frederic informed my consciousness of her departure from the Warehouse. My betrayal of her trust was enough to drive anyone away, but for her to willingly step away from a place she loves dearly it had to have been at the hands of someone she loved more. I swallow roughly; it's not as though I don't want her. I haven't loved anyone back in over a hundred years and it feels as though such a thing is arriving too late for me. Perhaps, I'm still too damaged to appreciate such a gift.

"Did you hear me?"

Myka's voice brings me out of my thoughts and I look at her-thoroughly. Her lovely face is bare before me and questioning. Then I take stock of the wounded slant of her shoulders and those green eyes of her's are absolutely awash with countless unshed tears.

"How could I not? I've been waiting for you to speak plainly and now I must." I move towards Myka until I'm all but against her. "Before I address my feelings I need to..." My words fail when I feel her breath go out of her body in a gasp; she can't honestly believe I'm about to reject her. "Myka...I'm in love with you too and there has never been a proper time to tell you such a thing. There was never a 'right time' and even if there were my transgressions in the past wouldn't have allowed it. You would've only been hurt more."

Tears overfill her eyes until they have no space left and they spill and run down both of her cheeks. I find myself at a quandary, on one hand I want to boldly step forth and wipe them away with a gentle touch. While in reality I look away and end up fixating on her three stuffed bears that are arranged accordingly on the small settee next to her bed. One bear is rather a ginger color in my mind, one is a brownish-gray and lastly the largest one is off-white from age and I can tell it's the favorite among her favorites. Everything about her makes me feel light.

I have withheld nothing from Myka; barely even my feelings towards her, which were a surprise yet not. I close my eyes for a second when my lower lip begins to tremble, but a clipped sob forces its way out of me. Then in a manner of a few sweeps of a ticking clock I find myself suddenly engulfed in Myka's strong arms to which I return the gesture of comfort. I haven't been held nor have I been scarcely touched by another human being since I was freed from my bronze prison. It means so very much to me that Myka is the first and if I'm very fortunate she will also be the last. I experimented with numerous people in my past life; a fact I have no wish to repeat in this life.

"Our history is complicated but it doesn't change how I feel about you." Myka says as she pulls me tighter to her and its as though she's trying to merge us into one being. "I can't keep ignoring it; this thing between us anymore. I mean you scare the hell out of me and how I feel about you is more frightening than anything I've ever known. But I also keep thinking about how my life would be if I hadn't met you."

The last time I was this close to her was but a few hours ago courtesy of that accursed rigging rope. I wrap my arms around her waist eagerly and it's so wonderful that the feeling of hot tears on my cheeks takes me off guard.

"How do you imagine your life without my...'interference' shall we say?"

"I can't see my life or any life I would have now without you. It would be like a part of me would just be gone, only I wouldn't know about it." Myka says before her arms loosen from around me and she steps back a little. I quickly wipe the tears from my face. "I would do anything to keep you in my life Helena. But I won't force you or make demands of you. I don't expect anything from you right now but I..." Myka closes her eyes tightly but the steady supply of tears in her eyes escape through her lashes regardless.

"May I tell you something?"

Myka nods while wiping the tears from her face.

"My emotions were rather all over the place the day we met for the second time. But after administering the antidote to Claudia; when we were standing over her hoping for the best, I very much wanted to kiss you." I say while inadvertently fixating on said lips once again the way I automatically did that day. "However, I surmised such a display of affection would be unwanted. It was quite a surprise given the other thoughts I was masking at the time. I'm confessing this to you now because anything you ask of me I will give it, freely."

Myka smiles very briefly, "I saw you look down at my lips but I didn't think anything of it." She says and her glimmering green eyes fix upon me rather intently. "I kept the note you left with the grappler. I keep it pressed between the pages of my first edition copy of 'War of the Worlds'."

I smile, "Why that book, darling?"

"My dad used to read it to me." Myka say with a faint blush coloring her cheeks. "I can still remember how much I loved hearing him read your words to me."

Swiftly, I move in and gently capture her face in my hands. I'm giving her all the time in the world to change her mind. We are at the merger, the blending of lines until the drawn line blurs to nothing. The last thing I see before I close my eyes is Myka erasing what little distance remained. Our first kiss has finally happened; a poignant caress which took the equivalent of a small war to get. Where I played both sides and then I intended to destroy as well as conquer. Myka as it turned out was always my ally no matter what. The feeling of her lips upon mine searching for something halts all the turbulence of my thoughts to a degree.

"Kiss me like you mean it." Myka says against my lips. I promptly respond to the lady's challenge as requested by bringing my hands up to face to pull her back to me.

Deep breaths taken through my nose reminds me just how long it's been for me. My heart is being put through the paces while the rest of me is trying to keep my thoughts in respectable places. The sounds of our breaths mingling with the exchange of our lips pressing and releasing should be louder to my ears, but I can't hear anything save for Myka's frantic heartbeat. I hope she will understand that my intentions while they are becoming fueled by lust as of now, I also hope she will recall our devoted exchange not ten minutes ago. I do love her and expressing that is long overdue. A kiss after all this time isn't a start though; it's merely a single drop of rain after a lasting drought. I pull away from her while I can but not very far. My forehead rests against her's while my hands continue to hold onto a great treasure-Myka's lovely face.

I watch her eyes slowly flutter open and I take a deep breath, "I want you, Myka."

Modern insight and old-fashioned for that matter regards my request as a need to erase pain, to in essence trade one experience in for a better one. As far as I'm concerned though that does not apply to us. I've waited for someone like Myka my entire life and had I not been bronzed this wouldn't have been possible. If only Christina were alive I could say that I have everything I've ever wanted in my life.

"I know."

I smile at the shared look of desire on her face, "But I must warn you that it's been quite a spell since I've lain with someone and you are not just anyone."

"Helena, now isn't a good time. I don't want our first time to be...after."

"What would you prefer, darling?" I ask gently while caressing Myka's face. I love that I'm allowed to touch her now. "The type of romance that has pervaded our lives brought us here and it's not like other people. Don't you see it can never be what someone would foolishly label as normal."

Myka smiles and for me this isn't a case of 'doth the lady protests too much.' I've greater issues that stretch beyond something so basic as 'need.'

"I'm a hundred and forty-five years old Myka, would you really have us wait longer? Would my courting you for a while change our past?"

Myka swallows roughly, "Of course it can't be changed, Helena. We both know better than anyone that the past can't be undone."

"Myka, as I've said before you know me better than I know myself and I know you." I say while pushing some of her hair behind her ear. "So permit me to ask you this: You've said you love me but am I to conclude that it doesn't mean you in fact want me as I want you."

Clarity should be classified as a virtue; I had it in my plan that I carried into the bronzer with me. I tried my best to have it in every facet of my life in my past life and I intend to have now in my future.

"You're right, I do know you." Myka says and then I feel her hands at the base of my neck. "But you're mistaken to think that I don't want you, Helena."

The answer given swept all thoughts from me and left me as but a being comprised of nothing more than sensations. It has been too long since I was allowed to have this. I had thought from the moment I was introduced to this world such a thing as love would never happen and wasn't important anymore. I was wrong about so very many things but I'm more than prepared to fix what can be fixed. And with the time I have left in my life I aim to make things right and ultimately leave things better than how I found them.

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 **Soundtrack: ****"Who Wants To Live Forever" by Queen**

 **Parting Words: To be continued... **


	2. Part 2

A/N: Some people encouraged me to do this but I warn you ahead of time that it is what it is. This chapter has **M-Rated** content so proceed at your own discretion. Also it's worth mentioning that to offer a different perspective this second half is in Myka's POV.

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Maybe when Pete hit me in the head with that rock and not having time to get it treated is what possibly lead me do this? I know that's not true though. I've fought tooth and nail with myself about how a certain famous author and previous Warehouse agent has always made me feel. And I know enough now to say there was no way I could go back to pretending to go back to just living for the job with nothing to show for my life; saving the world is only an act sometimes.

"Wait." I say against Helena's lips before compelling myself to pull away. "I don't want the others to hear us."

"Are you ashamed of me darling?"

"Of course not."

"Then worry not what they may or may not hear." Helena says while nuzzling along my neck. "I will put Pete in a very uncomfortable Kempo hold should he be crass with you. It is none of his business of how you chose to be intimate with another."

I want to laugh because she knows me that well and besides I would punch Pete first. But it's true that I couldn't stand for him to tease me about this since this isn't some rebound and it had better not be a one night stand. Could I really have what I want and how I want it? The men that I've been with always felt they had to be in charge. That it was a threat to their masculinity if I didn't just let them pound me into a fake orgasm. I want more than 'satisfaction' from Helena.

"Let's not talk about Pete anymore." I say before reaching down to unbuckle my belt.

"I agree." Helena says before unfortunately stopping the pleasant attentions she was giving my neck. "May I?" She adds with smirk before stopping my hands from completing their task.

I nod and she starts to undress me. Why is the sound of a belt buckle suddenly arousing? Oh God! I've never...it's been a long time since...Christ! We are made for each other.

"This isn't how I imagined things would go..." I say accidently before remembering to censor myself, as Helena's hands still after just pulling my shirt out of my undone pants and she smiles at me.

"I'm so very flattered that you had given some passing thought to us. What we would look like together if we had a chance to get this far." Helena says before leaning in to kiss me briefly. "Real life is never what we imagine though. I have learned very recently to appreciate all the moments of my life that are far removed from any fantasy. Speaking of reality being so much better; I do adore the shirt you're hardly wearing, it's quite see-thru you know."

She always says the right things while being a cheeky flirt. I blush as she pulls my shirt up over my head.

"How do you want to start?"

Helena flashes me a small smile. "We've already begun. But firstly darling, I require these clothes be removed from my person and then destroyed at the earliest possible convenience."

"Sykes gave them to you." I say as Helena steps away from me.

It's an obvious statement but I said it only to address her discomfort with them even though she tried to sound flippant. The first thing to go without ceremony though is her ankle high boots which she kicks off along with toeing off her socks, but then her fingers pause after moving to unbuckle her belt.

"Myka, I cannot stop reliving the memories of when that...man, Sykes forced me against my actual will with an artifact to put that brutish gun to your head." Helena says while pulling the narrow leather belt out through the loops in her jeans. "Then he made me put you in that chair; he knew how I feel about you to the point he said it actually."

I'm standing in my bedroom in my bra, jeans and boots trying to process while watching Helena take her clothes off. I wanted us to talk and instead I lost control of my emotions which more than likely rushed her into wanting this. Wait, I need to stop over-thinking things so much.

"If you hadn't believed in me like you always do." Helena says while pushing her jeans down her legs and I make myself not look away. "You would not be here and I wouldn't have taken that any better than all the other...tragedies that pervaded and shaped my life."

I want to hold her all of the sudden but maybe it's better this way. I had my say earlier and she seems to be multi-tasking; letting out her thoughts about the last few days while undressing. I shake my head at my inactivity and bend down to undo my boots and take them off. I step out of them one at a time and push them out of the way with my foot.

"You barely even hesitated when I told you the last chess move." Helena says quietly. "I found that rather telling since it would've either meant your death or freedom. Your loyalty, belief and love for me is astonishing."

More tears, great, just when I thought they had stopped. I wipe them away. Helena uses our pause to take off her leather jacket which she then throws down on the floor with some hints of force. I'm more than aroused by her but I've always had doubts about my sexual appetites. I wonder if I'll be enough for her. Only one way to find out and besides I already told her that I wanted her.

"I liked you from the first time I realized who you were." I blurt out and she stops undressing to look at me. "Later on I kept thinking: Why does she have to be the bad guy? It wasn't fair. Then I saw you again in California and yes I know all your motives at the time now. But I was so...happy for everyone to be wrong about you even though they weren't. But before everything happened I was happy to get the chance to work alongside you, to get to know you beyond what I'd read about you." Helena smiles and moves back to me in nothing more than that thin white shirt and her underwear. I swallow roughly when her body is less than an inch from mine. "I wanted one of my heroes to be exactly that-a hero."

I wonder if Artie will ever stop thinking of Helena as a villain? What if the Regents change their mind and decide to lock her up in an even more creative way again? Helena saved my life; she helped us all and damn it she's paid up twenty-times over as far as suffering goes. They can't take her away. I'll quit the Warehouse for good and we'll go into hiding if we have to. A squeaking floorboard snaps my attention out of my thoughts and my eyes fix on long, bare legs that only stop when I reach lacy black underwear.

"We are all flawed by design, Myka." Helena says before pulling off the simple white shirt and tossing it on my bedroom floor; her bra then follows in record time. "I was and will always be a product of my time. Furthermore, my time in general upon this Earth has been quite a long standing question."

"Our lives are a mess." I say with a twinge of sadness. Regardless of the fact that if I were a man I would have trouble hiding the effect she's having on me. "Are you...I mean do you still want to do this?"

Helena takes my hand in her's, "All the more reason to move forward in my opinion." She says before guiding my hand down between her breasts that I can't seem to not look at. "And as I said earlier I have no wish to wait any longer, I simply can't."

I look into her dark eyes as she continues to move my hand down her body. Her skin is smooth under my fingertips but with each inch that passes I feel her twitch under my touch. Helena's eyes darken more when my fingers reach the top of her underwear, but when she moves my hand lower until her warmth fills my hand I gasp. The heat I feel has nothing to do with only her body heat. I also feel how wet she is through her underwear. We're definitely doing this.

"Those trousers look fantastic on you any other time." Helena says in a breathy pant. "Except for now."

I smirk, "I'll have to move my hand to take them off."

"Do it."

Her rapid breaths are driving me crazy but I do move my hand off her and step back just enough for what I have in mind. I don't consider myself sexy. I know I'm not a troll or anything but it's not like I've ever had a lot of people fawning over me, that doesn't really matter now though. Helena unzipped my pants but that's as far as she got earlier. I grasp the tops of my jeans and underwear at the same time and then I lean down slightly to block Helena's view as I start pulling them down together. I have to take my time which might look sensual to her but I'm doing it because my heart is beating so fast I'm afraid I might pass out.

My dark blue underwear and jeans are gathered around my ankles when I'm done with my little strip tease. I try to fight the blush I feel heating up my face when I see the evidence of my arousal in the crotch of my panties. As I slowly straighten up I hear Helena breathing harder which fuels my confidence. I step out of the pile of clothes at my feet and reach behind my back to unfasten the last article of clothing that's covering me-my bra. I wore one of my sexy black ones and I'm glad I did, even though I didn't have time to find the underwear that matches it. When I got dressed however many days ago it's been now I didn't think this would be happening later on. I certainly didn't imagine getting undressed this way.

Helena breathes out my name as I pull the bra's straps off over my arms and toss it on the floor with everything else. I'm as bare as I've ever been for anyone. And even though I'm being looked at with an awed hunger which is making my chest and face warm under her gaze I'm not feeling shy. However, instead of a mad rush to reconnect like two magnets coming together Helena walks to my bed, moves my black leather jacket with the bullet hole off the duvet and then turns down the covers. This feels too much like going to bed with someone I've been sleeping with for a few weeks at least, not the person I've never stopped thinking about since I met her. I have to change this. I move up behind Helena's bent over form and grasp her hips in my hands.

"No more stalling." I say as I allow my hands to splay over her hipbones. The heat coming off her skin only makes me need to get closer.

"I wasn't stalling, Myka."

I know Helena thinks I haven't been with another woman before and she would be right, but that doesn't matter to me now. This is about what I feel and anatomy doesn't have a damn thing to do with it. Helena's breath catches in her throat when my lips touch between her shoulder blades.

"I want to..." I breathe along her pale skin as I slowly move my hands up over her stomach. "To touch you first."

The faint moan I heard from her is unexpected but I smile as I continue to kiss along her shoulders. But when my fingertips graze the undersides of her breasts my little moan surprises myself and then the following backwards thrust from the woman in my arms prompts us both to be vocal. I don't need any more foreplay than she does. In my next fevered breaths I move my hands back down her body to remove her underwear. I want to rip them off but I won't, maybe some other time. The next few moments seemed to blur or maybe my brain was trying to imprint everything I saw and felt to memory. But the second I started to tug on her underwear Helena stopped my hands and turned around. My eyes took in the darkest depths of her's and we were drawn together.

A kiss of such longing desire turned to outright sin when Helena's tongue slipped into my mouth. Her taste is finally in my mouth. Her hands are finally on my breasts and our bodies are finally pressed together. But with what little presence of mind I had left, I tried to reach down and rip her underwear off but that didn't work though. As Helena deftly continued to explore my mouth my attention gave away to the sensations in my overstimulated body. I never want this to stop. Two loud moans separated our sweltering kiss when somehow Helena had maneuvered our bodies to fall on my bed with her on top of me. My legs opened for her and as my arms greedily tried to pull Helena down for another kiss she pulled away. But only long enough for her to push her underwear down long sensuous legs.

"Let me take you...with me." Helena says as she presses herself between my legs.

The joy of feeling her skin on mine makes me moan and it takes a second for me to realize she means for us to finish together. I only nod and grasp her face and pull her mouth back to mine. I want every part of her touching me for as long as we have. And with that thought I let go; it's freeing to let my passion govern this time in my life. After the third time we climaxed together we actually managed to stop for a bit and catch our breaths. I've never been this insatiable for someone and that's enough to make me blush if I think about it too much.

"What happens now?" I ask while running my fingertips along an elegant collarbone. "What if the Regents," My voiced thought jams in my throat and I can hardly breathe. "What if they change their minds? What are we going to do?"

Helena reaches up and stills my hand by covering it with her's. "I am not going to pretend that I'm suddenly omniscient." She says while holding both of our hands over the strong, steady beat of one of the most resilient hearts. "I don't know what the future has in store for us, Myka. But I will not go along with any of the Regents decisions that's sole purpose will only keep us apart."

She always knows what to say and it's not just telling me what I want to hear.

"I left the Warehouse because of you and I came back for the same reason. I can do it again for you if I have to, if it comes to that." I say as I raise up enough on my arm to look into Helena's deep brown eyes that are shining with tears. "There's nothing I won't do for you and you should know that by now."

A suspended but understanding silence falls between us and Helena wipes under her eyes and then smiles at me.

"I do know because you are the one person who knows me best." She says and then those dark eyes dip down to where my breasts are pressed into her side. "However...I do question your judgement sometimes."

Those dark eyes lighten with mischief and I chuckle, "Very funny." I say before I lean down and softly kiss her. "Leave it to you to make a charming quip right now."

"Can you really blame me darling? We've had enough...hurt and even someone like me knows that it's past time to let the light in."

I smile and run my fingers through her hair, "You're such a wordsmith. You do realize that you've already 'wooed' the lady into bed."

Helena laughs and I love the sound.

"I'm more than aware of my victory." Helena says with a wry and entirely too smug smirk and I can't stop my laughter.

Whatever happens we will face it together.

 **-{-}-END-{-}-**

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 **Soundtrack:** **"Broken" & "Halo" by Depeche Mode **

**Last Words:** **I don't write much smut these days. Believe it or not when writing it somewhat frequently (like I used to) you get burned out with it or at least I did. I'm still burnt out on it so I really had to 'wrench it out' to get the proper amount of details happening.**


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